My First Rwandan Wedding

Yesterday I went to my first full Rwandan wedding. Augustin, who was Brad's language helper and who is part of my choir, was getting married. He invited me to come along to all of the ceremonies as the choir's representative. I arrived at his house a little after 7:00 in the morning. Two other ladies who were part of the wedding party helped me to dress in the skirt and sash that are traditionally worn at occasions like this.

By 8:00 most of the grooms wedding party had arrived. It consisted of his four grooms men, best man, family members, church leaders and various other people. I think that we filled four or five cars. We drove to the bride's house where she joined the groom in his car. Then we proceeded to the local government office for the civil ceremony. This lasted for about an hour and ended with both the bride and groom reading vows while the held the Rwandan flag.

Then it was back to the bride's house for the traditional ceremony. This necessitated a change of clothes. As we waited for the bride and her attendants the grooms family presented their gifts, (including the traditional hoe) the bride's family offered everyone drinks, and the old men representing the two families made appropriate comments. Finally the bride was ready. She was proceeded by drummers, singers and dancers. The groom had a brief interaction with her male relatives and when they accepted him, the bride place a head band of beads and fake hair on his head. They came and greeted both families and then they were seated in a small pavilion with their attendants. More singing, dancing and talking ensued,a and the ceremony ended at around 1:30. I realized that we were bound to be late for the church ceremony that had been announced for 2:00. We still had an hour drive ahead of us back to Kagarama Friends Church, plus the bride and groom had to change again for the church ceremony.



The church ceremony ended up beginning a little after 3:00. There was singing by my choir and by the choir of the bride's church. There was a sermon and then exchanging of vows and rings. Finally, all of the pastors present came and prayed for the couple. It seemed somewhat similar to an American wedding except that the bride and groom were seated for most of the time, instead of kissing when pronounced man and wife they simply hugged and shook hands, and there was an offering time when the bride and groom held baskets and people came and put money in them.

The church wedding ended around 5:00 and by 5:30 people were getting ready to go on to the reception held in the hall of a Catholic church in town. We arrived at the hall by 6:00 but it was another 30-45 minutes before the wedding party arrived as they took a detour for photographs. There was another giving of fantas (otherwise known as soda pop), more bantering between the families' representatives, cutting of cake, and finally the giving of presents as people formed a line and delivered gifts to the bride and groom, sometimes pausing to make a comment.

There was still one more ceremony left, but by this time it was 8:30 and I decided to go home instead of participating in it. However, I am told that after the reception everyone goes to the new couple's house and the bride's family brings food, pots, pans, blankets, etc. Kind of like a big house warming. I was told that this ceremony can go on into the early hours of the next morning and yet the couple will still be at church on Sunday morning (weddings are almost always on Saturdays), even if they are a little late.